What To Do About Personal Drama In An Agency – 6 Month Rule
When someone at your agency is going through a personal drama, it can be a big distraction for them, and for others in your agency. It also may seem like something that’s nearly impossible to address, because you want to be kind. But today’s video is about having boundaries, and how that’s actually the kindest thing you can do, and what to do if this turmoil goes on for a long time.
“So what do we do if someone has been in some turmoil for quite some time? I have what’s called my six-month rule. There are people who fall on hard times and there are people who live in hard times.”
Ultimately, you don’t want everybody talking about a person behind their back, and you don’t want the office to turn into a big therapy session. But you might see someone bringing their personal drama to work for a little bit, and let it go on, because that’s what this person is going through.
But what do you do when someone is going through a personal drama, and they bring it into work for months on end?
We have a rule of thumb you can follow, called the six month rule, that can help you set boundaries around this issue.
Breaking Down the Six Month Rule
What exactly is the six month rule, and how can we apply it to people who are bringing their personal dramas into work?
Think of it like this: there are people who fall on hard times, and there are people who live in hard times. There are also some people where a tragedy or personal matter can trigger them to change their personality, and subsequently become someone who lives in hard times.
One of the hardest parts about being an employer is that we always remember people at their heights, at what they could be, at what they were. But sometimes, there are life events that shape us and mold us, and not always for the better.
So if there’s someone who we’re working with who has a personal matter that’s lasted more than six months, and they haven’t been able to take that airplane out of its nosedive and come back to work in a meaningful way that’s productive, this needs to be addressed.
Generally, after six months have passed, we should start to see some return to normalcy. People have to course-correct, they need to figure out what to do, and they need to pick up the pieces. Yes, they might have a new reality to deal with. But you can see that there are people who will turn that into the victim mentality or become a martyr, and there are people who are going to address it in a healthy fashion.
And of course, people go through a bad day every now and then, and we’re not talking about that. But we’re talking about people who are basically adopting a whole new personality during their personal crisis, one that probably isn’t great for your work productivity and environment.
A Permanent Personality Change
If you have a team member who is going through a personal drama, and they’ve been really letting it run their life for more than six months, there’s one unfortunate reality that you need to understand: this is probably going to be their new personality.
We have seen very few people without intervention and significant help turn something like this around on their own accord. And you as an employer have to take a look at how something like this is impacting the business.
If an employee is not performing, if they’re causing drama inside the office, and if your goals aren’t being met, the unfortunate reality is that this person may be presenting an obstacle.
So you need to ask yourself: are you looking at this person from what you remember them as, or who they are today?
For many people, offices become so comfortable that employees may feel that it’s a comfortable place of support. This might need to be something that is reconciled.
Seeing Someone for Where They Are
If people are comfortable in your office to the point that they’re treating it like their personal drama dumping ground, you might need to make some small changes. Your office culture should be one where you’re friendly, and you can even be like family, and where everyone can be successful and happy.
But the reality is that this means everyone needs to be successful and happy, not just the one person going through the scenarios. So you need to be kind to this person, but you also need to evaluate them for where they are.
This might mean putting them on some sort of performance improvement plan, for example. And of course, the last thing you probably want to do is terminate someone because they’re going through an issue. But the real last thing you want to do is have an issue impact your business for a year because you didn’t address it.
So in the end, you need to set some boundaries. Let this person know that this is a difficult situation for your business, and this might be the sort of wake up call they need to get their life together. That is kind. Letting them go along, thinking that everything is fine when it’s not, is not kind.
At the end of the day, address these situations with an open heart and kindly, but also let your employee know that there are boundaries that come with a professional work environment.
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